MOM

How to destroy a young woman's life?

It's really not so hard.

Be born to her

She was only 19. I understand that she was good in school. She made it all the way through high school. Maybe was in The National Honor Society.  Unlike my dad who dropped out and joined the navy. 

How these two got together I'll never know. And even though they went on to inexplicably, have another kid 6 years later, it seemed like they had no shared interests. 

She just seemed so tightened up, a non drinker and ready to go to church, while he seemed relatively wild. He was kinda more attractive, with black wavy hair, fit from working out in the past, ("I need to get back to the Y." he said for years.), and kind rough in his navy tattoos.

He looked like Dean Martin, a popular entertainer back then. 

In fact they split in their early 40s, after I was already long gone. My dad later told me that she had a long affair with another married man. She died with that man, John, in a two engine airplane accident. It was not an enormous or challenging trip, they were flying from The Bahamas to Fort Lauderdale.  

She was 45. I had just turned 26.

She would be in her 90s if alive today and likely would be since both her sisters are alive. One is 97. (She told me, at least a decade ago, that I am in her will. I think that is a stupid thing to do to people who don't have much money. Isn't it natural to want and wait? Pretty sure she will outlive me. I really would like to pass this money along to the women I have hurt. She's the "rich" aunt.)

Anyway, back 72 years ago there probably wasn't a lot of abortion going on in Ohio, these two kids got married and I was extruded in the normal way. 

It's probably because I came out A Bad Boy, but the thing is I don't have any feeling of warmth, love, connection, special connection, unconditional love, undying support, or any of these other I-Love-Mommy stuff that I have heard others rattle on endlessly about all my life. 

So this was primary in the set up of my life and caused a lot of problems later.