Personal issues

 Thanks for reading my little blog here.

I’m going to change things up now. I haven’t really been writing reviews anyway. I ended up starting a youtube channel about the books I read.

This is going to drastically change to being very personal.
I think I’m getting ready to die, FINALLY!
It will be a relief. Over the past 2 years I have been a very sad broken hearted man.
It’s not something that has been done TO me. Well, maybe it was just life doing its thing and I was never ever equipped for it.

I just want to set the record straight as much as I can, even though the woman most concerned has not indicated that she wants to hear any longer.

I have been a life long THC addict and that has made things hard for me. Whatever with that, but it has made things hard for the people who were trying to be close to me.
I really regret that and feel all that more now that I am sober, old, and alone.
The THC thing was compelled by a lifelong emotional issues.
I just happened to be a teen with these emotional conditions when pot became  a cool helpful thing. Non-addicting, It was quite addicting to me, always has been.

(Funny think getting off coffee really helped.) 

I just wish I hadn’t trashed my connection with T so finally.
She was the sweetest person to me. I mess here, her touches.
I have been thinking a lot about her apartment of Long Island.
She was so kind to take me in and I should have relaxed into it. There was a lot of positives about that place.
I miss beautiful Saffie the can.
It made me nervous that her dad was like 12 years younger than I am.
I hope he is still around too. He really tried with me.
Ahamed and lonely.

Anyway being sober and on my own I think I understand some things better than I did 2 years ago.

I replay scenes that I would like to go back to and repair.

I would attached a photo of Saffie but it makes me sad to look though the photos of that period.